And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
Red Band Society is such a great show. I just watched the series premiere and as someone who’s been in and out of hospitals basically their whole life I am thankful for a show like Red Band Society.
Leslie: No. We're gonna sit forward and take it hard.
Mother: What is it? Apple?
Baby: -re we gonna have a problem? You've got a bone to pick? We've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick?
*picks up broom*
"TELL THEM HOW I AM DEFYYYYYYYYYING GRAAAAAVITTYYYY"
*starts sweeping broom sadly*
"There is a castle on a cloud…"
*holds broom horizontally*
"Never need a reason, never need a rhyme. Up on the roof top step in time!"
*sweeps broom angrily*
"IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE!"
How many uses are there for brooms in musical theater?
the limit does not exist